How To Discuss Caregiving Issues with a Loved One

WESTPORT, Conn., September 18, 2006 – One of the most challenging aspects of providing care to aging loved ones is communicating effectively with them regarding caregiving issues—especially those that might bring about changes in their living situations or reduce their levels of independence. Discussions about sensitive issues such as personal health, finances and changing family roles, for example, can seem intrusive to elders. So caregivers must clearly express that they are primarily concerned with their loved one's health and well-being. In addition to communicating your own goals and concerns, encourage loved ones to tell you about theirs. Many older people express fears of loss of independence, displacement, and of being a burden to their caregivers. So be sure to ask for input on what your loved ones want and encourage them to be active participants in all decisions.

The following tips will help caregivers communicate openly and sensitively:

		Respect your loved one. You're not parenting her/him. You're working together to devise a caregiving plan that benefits you both.
		Ask pointed questions that require specific answers.
		Listen carefully and repeat back what you've heard. Ask if your understanding of what she or he is saying is correct.
		Be patient. Allow time for loved ones to formulate their thoughts and put those thoughts into words.
		Allow for negativity. Remember that your loved ones are facing life changes that may be difficult to accept.
		Talk about your own feelings and be personal. Statements such as, “I wish,” “I'm worried or concerned,” and “I feel,” can ease tension and let loved ones know that you're concerned about their well-being.
		If you find yourself arguing with your loved one, take a break and come back to the discussion later.
		Listen to the message beneath the words. Pay attention to body language and facial expressions and make sure you hear all of what is being said (or not said).

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Media contact: Michael Civiello
LifeCare, Inc.
pr1@lifecare.com
203-291-4170